In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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