I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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