They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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