I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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