shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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