he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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