i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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