i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
