Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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