look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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