I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
