i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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