HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
