Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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