I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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