btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
