I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
