it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
