bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
