The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He better not be in your backpack
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
