so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
