Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
