what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize