my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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