why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
