your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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