Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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