so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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