Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
