So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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