And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
