And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
