Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
