The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
