Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
