i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
