Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize