My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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