Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
