She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
