Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
