just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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