Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Come share oat with me in your robe
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
