I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
