Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
