I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
