I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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