Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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