Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
