He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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