she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I need moral support for this bender
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
