I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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