i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
