my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize