you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
