I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
