Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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