I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
