If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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