I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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