I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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